Please help! My 2 year-old has trouble falling asleep on his own..any tried and true advice that works?

My son is now 2-1/2 and generally sleeps through the night, but he has had trouble getting to sleep for the last 6 months. It now takes over an hour to get him to settle down enough to fall asleep, and he needs me to be in his room until he falls asleep. He does sleep for about 10 hours at night and naps for about 2 hours from 12-2 each day. We read stories and listen to lullabies, but there's got to be a better way! He understands that it's bed time but he looks for excuses to stay up. I would love to hear of some ways to soothe him that have worked without a lot of crying and carrying on.

Your advice is really appreciated..

One Tired Mom and Dad

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Permalink Reply by Meridian Health on October 12, 2011 at 2:23pm

Hi Fran,

Here is a guide from our Meridian Health Wellness Library:

http://wellnesscenter.meridianhealth.com/Search/90,P02237

Helping your baby fall asleep:

Babies may not be able to establish their own sleeping and waking patterns. Surprisingly, not all babies know how to put themselves to sleep, or are able to go back to sleep if they are awakened in the night. When it is time for bed, many parents want to rock or breastfeed a baby to help him or her fall asleep. Establishing a routine such as this at bedtime is a good idea. However, be sure that your baby does not fall asleep in your arms. This may become a pattern and your baby may begin to expect to be in your arms in order to fall asleep. When your baby briefly awakens during a sleep cycle, he or she may not be able to go back to sleep on his or her own.

Babies who feel secure are better able to handle separations, especially at night. Cuddling and comforting your baby during the day can help him or her feel more secure. Other ways to help your baby learn to sleep include the following:

Allow time for naps each day as needed for the age of the baby.
Avoid stimulation and activity close to bedtime.
Establish a bedtime routine, such as bath, reading books, and rocking.
Play soft music while your baby is getting sleepy.
Introduce a transitional object such as a blanket or soft toy that your baby can take to bed.
Tuck your baby into bed when he and she is drowsy, but before going to sleep.
Comfort and reassure your baby when he or she is afraid.
For night awakenings, comfort and reassure your baby by patting and soothing, but avoid taking your baby out of bed.
If your baby cries, wait a few minutes, then return and reassure with patting and soothing. Then, say goodnight and leave (repeat as needed).
Be consistent with the routine and your responses.

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Permalink Reply by Fran Brogno on October 13, 2011 at 10:56am

Thank you Meridian Health! This is great advice that's very helpful. It's also so comforting to know that we are mostly doing the right things. Thanks again for your expertise..I am so glad I signed up! Fran

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Permalink Reply by Meridian Health on October 13, 2011 at 11:32am

No problem Fran!

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Permalink Reply by Michael McCauley on October 17, 2011 at 1:39pm

Fran - I wanted to point out that you are not alone. We have the same issue in our house. We have three kids (ages 6, 3 and 13 mons). Bedtime is a struggle. For our 13 month old we have to rock him to sleep in our arms then lay him down. We tried the ferberizing but it just doesn't work. For our other two, we have to lay there with them until they fall asleep.

Signed, One Tired Dad :-)

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Permalink Reply by Fran Brogno on October 21, 2011 at 3:32pm

Thank you Michael - it does help to know there are other parents dealing with the same struggles. It's continually a work in progress but I am hopeful that it will get better over time, even if it takes a few more years! Thanks for your support and hope it gets better for you too! Fran

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Permalink Reply by Nicole Aikins on October 24, 2011 at 4:08pm

I wanted to share as well that it takes about an hour for my daughter to go to sleep after the lights are out, and I have to stay in the room the entire time. You are definitely not alone. My daughter is 18 months, and for about a month, would fall asleep on her own within 15 minutes (HEAVEN), then all of a sudden, it all stopped. I am happy to see this thread, to know that I am not the only tired Mommy walking around!

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Permalink Reply by Fran Brogno on October 24, 2011 at 4:37pm

Thank you Nicole..My son too fell asleep much more easily about 6 months ago and then it just changed..who knows it's one of those mysteries. There are though some better days than others, and I just think they need that comfort knowing you are there and I think they will get better with it (I hope!)